& I can't get it out of my head.

Suddenly remembered that song, by John Paul White, and, funnily enough, I can't get it out of my head. Who knew, eh?
It's happening again. You think you're close to someone, and then they just do something that surprises you completely. It's usually unpleasant. Atleast it is in my case. I've learnt to ignore it, or rather, put the feeling aside. It's not that important when I look at the bigger picture. You can go do your thing, and I'll do mine. Piece o' cake.
I'm procrastinating, yet again. Will I ever get my work done? I don't think so. I have to look into universities, as I'm really unhappy with college right now, and I hardly ever go. I can't help it, it just doesn't interest me, though I did meet this pretty cool girl, and well, I went and got a monroe piercing with her. HA. Yes, that's just me. I'm ridiculously impulsive.
Too many things to consider. My sister says, "Since you love clothes and fashion so much, why don't you go to fashion school? But it's a dog eat dog world." Someone else says, "You should really look into graphic design at Raffles, it seems like it'll be your kinda thing." And then the, "Prepare for N.I.D! You're good enough to get in!"
Will I ever be able to make up my mind?
I doubt it.
[Ha, he smelled so good, that I can still remember what his cologne smells like.]

I love the sound the little green ceramic spoon makes against my teeth when I play with it carelessly.
I love trusting people and letting them in, even though I know they will almost always let me down later.
I love knowing that he's looking at me observingly, when I'm looking away. And I still know he's looking.
I love the feeling you get when you really have to pee and then you finally DO.
I love eating my food as fast as I can and then immediately feeling bad the second it's over.
I love girly make-up, stillettos and denim shorts.
I love sleeping, all the flippin' time, and staying up late at night doing absolutely nothing.
I love not knowing what I want to do in the future, makes it so much more interesting.
I love leopard print, especially when it's combined with the colour pink.
I love knowing exactly what's on someone's mind when they make that certain expression.
I love wearing my dad's oversized t-shirts.
I love the familiar smell of my room and my blanket.
I love music.
I love comfortable silences.
I love the feeling of being infatuated. Even though it's temporary.
I love thinking about things that are never going to happen and still getting butterflies in my stomach.
I love, a lot.

Wtf.

Sometimes, just sometimes, when I think about me, as a person, the concept of me seems so surreal. Like, wow, this is ME. This is who I am. I look in the mirror; that's what I look like. Its my identity. 'I'. 'Me'. Its just.. Intriguing & a little hard to digest. The concept's always puzzled me, but voicing it out, or putting it down on paper seems odd. Why would anyone question their identity? It feels like I'm questioning my sanity. Sometimes, when people call out my name, or address me, it feels like they're addressing a stranger. Is that normal? I don't know. It just feels strange. Its almost like I'm not comfortable or certain of who I am.
I'm still quite confused. Who the heck am I? It doesn't feel like 'me'. Whatever that is.